


All I Know Is I Won't Go Speechless

by Katybug1992



Series: You're the Man, But I Got the Power [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Can be read as a stand alone, Claude Giroux/Sidney Crosby hinted, Female Mitch Marner, Female Tyler Seguin, Women in the NHL, female claude giroux, female jaden schwartz, female nolan patrick, female robert thomas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 09:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24348403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katybug1992/pseuds/Katybug1992
Summary: They can try to take your dignity, but never let them take your voiceOR Being a woman in the NHL is hard and painful. But having the right people around can help you find your voice when you think you've lost it.
Relationships: Claude Giroux & Nolan Patrick, Danny Briere & Claude Giroux, Jaden Schwartz & Vladimir Tarasenko, Jamie Benn & Tyler Seguin, Mitch Marner & William Nylander, Robert Thomas/Matthew Tkachuk
Series: You're the Man, But I Got the Power [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821067
Comments: 1
Kudos: 60





	All I Know Is I Won't Go Speechless

**Author's Note:**

> Title and lyrics from "Speechless" from the 2019 Aladdin

1\. Here comes a wave meant to wash me away, a tide that is taking me under. Swallowed in sand, left with nothing to say, my voice drowned out in the thunder. But I won’t cry and I won’t start to crumble. Whenever they try to shut me or cut me down.

Mitchie had spent her entire life being told that hockey wasn’t her future. She was too small, too soft, too fragile, too female to make it to the OHL Draft, then to last in London, then to make it to the NHL draft, then to make the Leafs. She spent her whole life proving them wrong, proving her own father wrong, proving her coaches wrong.  
She got called bitch, whore, slut on a nightly basis. She had blame laid at her feet. Had to put up with the media commentating that maybe if a male had been given her spot, the Leafs would have won the Cup by now. She worked ten times harder than everyone else at practice and in games because she had to, she had to prove in every minute on the ice that she deserved to be there.

It was a particularly ugly game against Boston that almost broke her. She was on the ice with Marchand almost every shift, who spent the game yapping her ear off about all the things he would do her if given the chance, about all the things she probably let her team do to her on a nightly basis, about all the things Davo probably did to her. And she was determined not to let him see it get to her. She finally slammed him into the boards, stealing the puck and speeding down the ice, flicking the puck almost effortlessly into the net. She went through the motions of a celly, plastered the smile on her face even as Coach told her she should have been playing at that level the whole game and Willy muttered to her to ignore him, that she had been playing well and just hadn’t had that many scoring chances.

She was on the ice for the last shift and was skating toward the tunnel at the final buzzer when Marchand made one more comment and Mitchie didn’t let him see her react. Waiting until she knew she was out of sight of the camera and broke her stick over her knee, throwing her gloves off. She ignored her teammates as she tore her gear off, barely listened to Babcock, and headed into the shower. Only when the water was on did she let her tears fall, biting her lip so that she didn’t make any noise, thankful that she had her own private shower stall separate from the others. She punched the tile repeatedly, unable to keep her noises in anymore. She let her pain overtake her. It wasn’t her first time playing Marchand, it wasn’t her first time having comments like those directed at her. But she had kept the hurt and frustration in for her whole life and it seemed to pick then to start spilling out of her.

When she made it back into the locker room, she tried to pretend that they didn’t all hear her breaking down. She sat back into her stall. When Willy put his arm around her, she let herself fall into him, sniffling a little as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. 

“Want me to go home with you?” he muttered into her hair, sharing a look with Auston - who looked like he was trying his hardest to stay at his stall.

“I’ll be okay.” Mitchie replied, pulling away, “I’ll be fine. It’s just fucking Brad Marchand.”

“It’s not just him though, is it?”

“It’s a lot of things, Willy, it just got to me more tonight.”

She managed to shake off the guys and get back home without incident. She texted the Hockey Gals chat she had been a part of since the Draft about what had happened. Because she loved her boys, she did, they were always there to back her up, to stand up for her, the first to say she was one of the best players on the team. But they didn’t understand. They couldn’t understand.

She watched the highlights of the game, could see her face as Marchand ran his mouth. And then the shot down the tunnel and the camera had caught her emotional reaction. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and tried to go to sleep.

Sure enough, in the morning, her “emotional outburst” was being talked about like it was more important the Leafs beating Boston in the first of a back-to-back and like her goal wasn’t highlight wheel worthy. She was on her fifth analysis video when Willy let himself into her condo.

“Got your favorite,” he greeted, taking her phone from her and replacing it was a ridiculously sweet coffee beverage and a croissant, “Stop watching these. It’s not healthy. You were one our best players on the ice last night, always are. That’s what matters.”

Mitchie scoffed and rolled her eyes, mumbling, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“So make me.” Willy replied, “You always say that but you never talk to us about it. Not even Auston. We can’t understand unless you tell us. So make me understand so I know how to help you. Talk to me.”

And Mitchie just let everything out. Everything she went through on a daily basis, everything the media said about her, everything Coach ever said or did to make her feel worthless, everything she had been keeping inside for so long. And Willy sat there and listened to her. And when she was done talking, and in tears, Willy pulled her into a hug and didn’t let go until she pulled away. 

Using his thumb to wipe away any remaining tears, he said, “You know what you gotta do right?”

“Push through.” Mitchie replied, nodding.

“No,” Willy shook his head, “you’ve been doing that for too long. You gotta let it push you. Let it motivate you, fuel you. Because you are one of the best hockey players I’ve ever played with, better than most of the guys I know. And tomorrow, in Boston, you’re going to shove your game Brad Marchand’s fucking rat face and make him sorry he ever tried to mess with you.”

Mitchie gave him a wet smile and pulled him in for another hug, “Thank you, Willy.”

“I will always remind you how good you are.” Willy replied, “Because you blow my mind every night.”

And the next night against Boston, she beat them. She got paired with Marchand again. She threw her less than impressive weight around (enough to ram him into the boards pretty hard), she scored three of the four goals (would have scored the fourth if Rask hadn’t made the save and Willy collected the rebound), and she did it all without even acknowledging Marchand. When asked after the game on if the teams’ comments on her emotional outburst (she didn’t know what that in reference to as none of her teammates made any negative comments - or any comments - about her breakdown the other night) had a hand in her game that night, she replied by saying that her emotions are fuel, not a hindrance and that they aren’t a bad thing. That she wasn’t going to let someone like Brad Marchand hold her back.

Then she got hurt and the media found some way to still blame her for the injury and for the string of Leafs loses since. Then Babs was fired and Kyle asked her to join the team on the road with the new coach - because she was the lifeblood of the team, she kept the mood up, she had a gift of being able to make anyone feel like they were the best player in the room even if they had a bad game. On the plane, Keefe and Kyle asked her what she would have done differently than Babcock in regards to his treatment of her. And Kyle knew about the list, obviously (Bozie and Naz had been incesened had immediately informed Kyle about what the rookie had been forced to do), but he didn’t know about Babcock making her feel like she didn’t belong on the team, about how he made her feel like she was always on the verge of being sent down to the Marlies, about how he made her fight for every minute of ice time, about how he was never happy with her play.

Keefe told her that if he ever did anything to make her feel that way, to talk to him, that it wasn’t intentional, because she was a good player - always had been.  
And she felt relief. Because Babcock always made her feel like she couldn’t use her voice - part of what took her contract negotiations so long. And felt like she was finally getting her voice back.

Then she and Auston were finally on a line together - something Auston had been pushing Babcock for for four years, when Babcock only wanted Mitchie to play bottom six. And they lit it up. And Mitchie felt the tide turn, finally, in her direction. 

2\. I won’t be silenced, you can’t keep me quiet. Won’t tremble when you try it. All I know is I won’t go speechless. ‘Cause I’ll breathe when they try to suffocate me. Don’t you underestimate me. ‘Cause I know that I won’t go speechless

There were other women in the League who wore the “A”, but when Claude-Marie Giroux was given the “C” by the Flyers, she was first woman to wear it - and still was. And she had to prove that she deserved the Captaincy every minute she was on the ice. If the team lost, it was her fault. If they won but she didn’t score, she didn’t play well enough. If she got a little snippy with the media, she was un-Captainly for letting her period effect her. If she lost her temper in a game, she was too emotional the wear the “C”. If she was dating someone, she was weeks away from getting married and quitting hockey to be a wife and a mother. If was seen with a guy in a bar or club, she was a whore. If she wasn’t interested in someone, she was a lesbian. If she had no interest in dating or hooking up, she was frigid.

She was used to the comments on her dating life. But, after all these years, still having her worthiness of the “C” questioned sucked. Every year that the Flyers didn’t win the Cup, there was another round of “think pieces” about replacing her and who it should be. Sean had enough experience by now, they argued. But Coots, when he got asked about those articles by a reporter, almost threw a punch, spitting out that G was the best Captain he had ever played under and that no one would be better at it. He then, apparently, texted Danny because Claude got a text from him shortly after inviting her over for dinner with the excuse that it was to celebrate Cameron’s college acceptance like they hadn’t already done that.

But it worked. Danny’s boys always able to pull her out of whatever mood she was in. It was when they boys had gone to set up the street hockey game and she was helping Danny with the dishes, did Danny broach the topic.

“It’s been happening since I got the Captaincy, Danny. You know that.” Claude replied, rinsing off the plates and loading them into the dishwasher.

“But they’ve moved to thinking about replacing you?” Danny’s voice was shocked anger.

“The media has, yeah.” Claude nodded, knowing better than to argue with Danny.

“Have the Flyers released a statement yet?” Danny demanded.

“Not yet, but the article was only released this afternoon, right after Coots got the question post-practice.”

“I’ll put one together and send it in.”

“Danny -”

“No. The Flyers want me involved in PR involving you, so yeah, I’ll be putting that statement together.”

“Be nice about it.”

“Why?”

“Because I asked you to.”

“Marie -”

“Danny, please.”

“Why aren’t you more pissed off about this?!”

“You think I’m not pissed?! You think I’m not hurt that I have not been able to bring a Cup to Philly!? You think I see all those articles about me not being worthy of the C and don’t care?! I can’t care, Danny!! If I care, I get labeled as too emotional! I can’t have a reaction! So, please, just a blanket statement.”

“Claude.” Danny sighed and pulled her in, turning the water off as he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into her shoulder. 

Danny’s house, and Danny, was her safe place. Her only place that she could break down and break apart because he was always there to put her back together, help her build herself up stronger than she had been before. He always had been. He had been there after she had been photographed making out with a guy who happened to look a little like Crosby, had been there after Hossa grabbed her during a game, been there after a guy had dumped the full beer he had bought her over her head when she refused to blow him in the bathroom in return. He had been there time and time again. Had seen her at her lowest and had always been there to catch her when it got to be too much.

Even when he was in Montreal or Colorado. If she had reached her tipping point, she called him and he was always there, doing what he could over the phone to make sure that no one else could see her crumble. Because she was Captain and she couldn’t let anyone else see her weak. Couldn’t let anyone else see them get to her. Couldn’t let them see a reaction. 

If a question crossed the line, she told the report so. If her skills were questioned, she ramped it up to two hundred. If someone asked how she felt being compared to Crosby, she responded that it’s easy to be better when having dick means not having to prove yourself every night. That comment had gotten her an exasperated look from Danny  
What shocked her was Crosby’s response. He had replied that he didn’t know why she was asked that and that he probably did have it easier because he was a man - using that question as an example.

“You know,” she started as he answered the phone, “they’re going to think you’re into me because of that.”

“There are worse women I could be linked to.” Crosby had replied and she knew how his voice changed just a bit when he had a playful smirk on his face.

“Aw, got a little crush on me, Croz,” She replied cheekily.

“Something like that,” his voice was softer and she decided that it wasn’t the best time to press that any further.

“...thank you...for what you said.” Claude responded, “It means something to me to hear someone other than my teammates do something like that.”

“You’re a good hockey player, Claude-Marie,” Crosby replied earnestly, “you don’t deserve all the shit you go through.”

“Just some of it?”

“Just some of it.”

She laughed as she hung up. Her team was great at helping her get her voice back when it was taken from her but it was nice to know that one of the biggest names in the League was also in her corner.

3\. Written in stone every rule, every word, centuries old and unbending. “Stay in your place”, “Better seen and not heard”. But now that story is ending. ‘Cause I cannot start to crumble. So come on and try, try to shut me and cut me down.

Tyler woke up to news that there was a video and pictures of her on the internet. More specifically a couple sex videos and tons of nude photos that she didn’t know about or consent to, and a hacker was involved somewhere along the line because there were a couple videos that could only have been taken from her webcam. The Stars were working with Law Enforcement Officers to track down the person who released them. 

She had answered all the detectives questions about her exs, her hookups, anyone that would have been able to take the pictures and videos. The list of names was long and she hugged herself tightly as each one was added and what their relationship was to her. The only saving grace were the dogs, all glued to her side and not willing to let anyone get too close to her. 

When everyone finally left she made the trek back upstairs, turning all the lights in the house off, changed back into her pajamas and buried herself under her comforter, all the dogs piling around her, and hid from the world. The next two days she only got up to let the dogs out and feed them.

On the third day, Jamie had let himself into the house, cursing as stumbled through the house and up the stairs, shhing the dogs when they growled at him as he entered Tyler’s room. When he flicked the light on, he was shocked at the mess that greeted her. It looked like she had thrown the entire contents of her closet out and onto her bedroom floor. 

“Come on.” Jamie prompted, walking over to the lump he knew was Tyler, “You’ve hid long enough.”

“Jamie, please.” Tyler pleaded, muffled by the comforter she was still hiding under, “I just need one more day.”

“No.” Jamie replied, using his Captain voice, “I know what you’re doing. You’re scared and you’re hurt, but this isn’t going away until you put on a show. Make everyone forget about this by playing the best game of your career tonight.”

“It won’t just go away, Jamie, I’m not a guy.” Tyler finally threw the comforter off of her, “There are several videos, there are hundreds of photos, there are videos from my hacked webcam. And the videos released weren’t all with the same guy. And I don’t know how this person got all of those but they did. I’ve been on Twitter and I’ve watched the coverage from the sport networks. I know what people are saying about me, Jamie. I’m being told I’m a whore, a slut, a terrible role model for young girls. And it’s nothing I haven’t heard before but now they have proof!”

And Jamie didn’t know how to respond to that. Because she was right. If it had been one of the guys on the team it would have been a non-story. But it wasn’t one of the guys. It was Tyler, one of the few women in the League and the only one on the Stars. And Jamie had sucked it up and called Alex Pietrangelo for advice because Jaden Schwartz had been with the Blues since 2012 and they now had Robbi Thomas as well. Petro had told him not to give Tyler space, unless she usually needed space (Schwartz apparently needed space but Robbi didn’t, so Petro told Jamie to use his judgement), to talk to her. Petro also told him to keep his temper in check, that it wouldn’t help if he was angry at the situation as well. Petro did not prepare him for that particular response. Nothing prepared him for that response.

“Tyler -”

“I’m a slut, it’s why Boston sent me away and it’s why Dallas is going to try to get rid of me, too.” Tyler hugged herself tightly and Jamie should not have given her space, “They’ll say that it’s because I haven’t produced as much this season, but everyone will know the real reason. Dallas is my home. I don’t want to leave.”

“They’re not going to trade you over this.” Jamie sat on the edge of the bed and slowly reached a hand out to touch her shoulder, “You were attacked, Tyler. You had no say in this. You’re not any of those. Ty, you were the first woman to go first overall ever. You prove every time you step foot on the ice that you are a fantastic player and a role model for every girl wanting to play this sport.”

“Yeah? Well tell that to everyone else.”

“I don’t have to tell them because you’re getting up, getting dressed, we are going to practice, you’re playing in the game tonight, and I’m getting you at least two goals. And tomorrow, I’ll come over and help you clean up this mess.”

“No need.” 

Jamie turned to the door to see Candace and Cassidy standing there.

“Ty, go shower and get dressed,” Cassidy instructed, “Jamie will give you a ride to and from practice. We’ll get the place cleaned up. Mom will be here for the game. We weren’t going to come but when you didn’t answer anyone’s calls or texts we got worried.”

And Tyler knew when she was beat, so she dragged herself into the en suite to take a shower.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Jamie admitted.

“Just be there for her.” Candace replied, “Show her that you and the guys are in her corner. I don’t think any of us can really imagine how she’s feeling right now.”

Jamie hadn’t heard anything for Tyler since he dropped her off after practice. He would have been worried she wasn’t going to show for the game if Mama Seguin hadn’t been there. Because as much as Tyler loved proving her doubters and haters wrong, she was also more terrified than Jamie had ever seen her. Coach had suggested downloading TalkSpace so that Tyler had a trained therapist no matter what time of day or where she was to help her deal with this. Because the truth was - regardless of how no one wanted to say it - things were going to get worse before they got better.

And Jamie had never been more relieved in his life to see Tyler walk into the locker room and over to her stall. She participated in warm-up soccer like she always did, she went through her routine like she always did, but she barely said a word. When someone asked if she was okay, she nodded. She dressed for the game and, for the first time ever, hesitated before leaving the tunnel for warm-ups. But Coach put a hand on her shoulder, nodding at her, and a smile slipped out and she took to the ice.

She closed her eyes tightly, prepared for the worst. When she wasn’t greeted by boos and pelted with rotten fruit, she opened her eyes and looked around. Nothing had changed. And she felt a little bit of the tension seep out. She caught sight of a few signs one reading “If You Can Play, You Can Play - Nothing Else Matters”. But the one that got her attention was pressed to the glass, being held by a girl no older than thirteen. The paper was bright pink and had a picture of a much younger version of the girl wearing a Midget League jersey standing next to Tyler holding a bright pink sign that said “Tyer, you’re my hero”. Next to the photo on the sign were the words “Tyler, You’re Still My Hero”. And Tyler sniffed and immediately grabbed a puck and skated over to the girl and her dad, tossing the puck over the glass and smiling at her - taking a picture through the glass and asked the dad what their seat numbers were before asking a member of the Stars staff to give them locker room passes for after the game.

When her name was said for the starting lineup, she braced herself for negative reactions but instead the arena erupted louder than it ever had before. And that’s when the tension flooded out of her. 

And from the first face-off she dominated the game. Kessel was a jackass to her, but he was always a jackass to everyone. And Jamie got her the goals he promised her.  
People were always going to say shit about her, but she was done letting it make her feel ashamed of who she was. 

4\. I won’t be silenced, you can’t keep me quiet. Won’t tremble when you try it. All I know is I won’t go speechless. Speechless. Let the storm in, I cannot be broken. No, I won’t live unspoken. ‘Cause I know that I won’t go speechless.

Nolan had known since she was sixteen in Juniors, not to go into the Comments section on article or videos. She was told it wasn’t good for her mental health. But she had thought, just maybe, that things would be different in the NHL - even after G pulled her aside and reiterated the suggestion - Don’t read the comments, don’t Google yourself, don’t look at your mentions.

But it had been a bad day and Nolan had felt like crap all day, so what harm could it do? Turns out it was a very bad idea and Nolan was never going to go against anything G said ever again. Because the comments were worse than they were when she was in Juniors, mostly due to her being eighteen and gross men not needing to worry about whether she was legal or not, regardless of age of consent.

And once she read one comment, she had to read them all. Eventually she had enough sense to turn close everything and at least try to get some sleep.

It didn’t work. She was grateful she was usually tired and cranky in the morning and that because of that Teeks didn’t question her mood on the ride to practice.

But G knew something was up, she probably recognized the look of a girl who spent the night reading horrible things about herself.

G directed everyone else to hit the the ice before standing up and moving to sit next to Nolan.

“You told me not look, but I did.” Nolan admitted quietly, “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me for that, you don’t have anything to apologize for,” Claude-Marie replied, “I know what it feels like. To be having a bad day, to feel bad about yourself, and need to see that other people have those same opinions of you. To see that what they have to say is so much worse than what you think about yourself and so much worse than those men would dare say to your face.”

“I’ve seen the gross stuff before, when I was in Juniors,” Nolan responded, getting a nod from G in understanding and agreements, “But never things like me only being useful as a hole, never things like graphically describing what they would - G, some of it scared me more than hurt me.”

“I got those same comments, still do.” Claude bumped her forehead gently against the side of Nolan’s head, “My first year, one guy got so bad that Danny reported him to the organization and they got the police to look into him, got me a restraining order against him because the police agreed that he had the potential to be dangerous, turn into a an actual stalker, blocked him on all my social media.”

“Did he ever -?”

“No, because Danny found out. I broke down after a particularly descriptive comment and I woke Danny up and told him.”

“My teammates in Juniors...they said I was being paranoid.”

“Well, you have another female on your team now. If you need anything - if you feel yourself drowning in comments, mentions, call me. I don’t care what time. I’m your Captain and it is my job to look after you, Rookie.”

“Yes, Captain.” 

Nolan was smiling now and they headed toward the ice. Right before stepping on to the ice, Claude stopped her, “The best way to get back at them is to prove them wrong.”

And Nolan stood there for a minute, watching as G skated off and stole the puck from Simmer as she passed.

“Patty! You and me!” TK yelled, snapping her attention away from G, “One on One.”

“You’re going down.” Nolan responded with a grin, taking off like a rocket and laughing as Travis tried to keep up with her.

5\. Try to lock me in this cage, I won’t just lay me down and die. I will take these broken wings and watch me burn across the sky. Hear the echo saying… I won’t be silenced, though you wanna see me tremble when you try it. All I know is I won’t go speechless. Speechless.

Jaden knew a shady bar when she saw one. She did play college hockey. She knew shady bars and she knew what kind of men hung around shady bars. And she glared at Borts as he led the way to this particular location in Dallas. She didn’t know how, but he had a way of finding shady bars in every city they played in. She had half a mind to text Seggs to see if this was one of those places where she needed to guard her drink more closely than normal.

“You know how I act after two drinks, right?” she muttered to Vova, who nodded and looked confused, “If I start acting sloppier than that, don’t let leave with anyone.”

“Schwartzy -” 

“I need you to be full cockblock mode tonight, Vladi.” 

Something in her voice must have been enough to convince him because he nodded and said, “I keep eye on you.”

She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, “Thank you.”

It didn’t take long for the first creep of the night to lean against the bar as Jaden was ordering an Old Fashion.

“Buy you a drink?” he asked, looking her up and down.

“No thank you.” Jaden replied, eyes glued to the bartender making her drink, watching him carefully - a habit Mandi had drilled into her head when she was in high school and had served her well in life, especially in college. Never take your eyes off the bartender, never accept drinks from strangers, never leave you drink unattended, place a coaster or a plate or napkin or anything available over the top of it if it was in front of you but you needed to look away for whatever reason. 

“Why not?” the man said, “Got yourself a boyfriend?”

“No.” Jaden responded, again not looking over at him.

“Too good for me, princess?” the man sneered and Jaden was thankful that her drink was placed in front of her in that moment.

“Just here with friends tonight.” Jaden replied, taking the drink and making her way back to the table, where Vladi stood so Jaden could slide in between him and Steener, the Russian’s eyes glued to the man still glaring at her from the bar.

“Don’t like way he looking at you.” Vladi muttered.

“That makes two of us.” Jaden replied, sipping her drink.

The night went on and Jaden felt the man’s eyes on her the entire time. She limited herself to just her one drink so she wouldn’t have to get up. But now she got a panicky feeling because she was starting to really have to pee and there wasn’t another girl on the team to make go with her to the bathroom, which wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway since it was a one room bathroom and that would negate the purpose of the buddy system.

She glanced around, she didn’t feel his gaze or see him so she thought she would take advantage of that and made Vladi get up, assuring him that she would be okay because the bathroom was right there and the creep had probably left by now. Vova was reluctant but let her go.

“I come looking for you if not back in ten minutes.” Vladi muttered.

“I’m a fast pee-er, give me five.” she muttered back, knowing that he would take her joke for the underlying serious comment - that she still didn’t feel safe here.

She turned the corner toward the bathroom when she felt hands grab her around the middle and pull her tight against a very male body.

“Hello, missy.” the man from the bar purred into her ear, “Knew you’d come around.”

“Let go of me.” Jaden ground out, struggling in his hold and forcing herself not to panic - panicking would get her nowhere.

“Maybe you should have let me buy you that drink,” he replied, pulling her backward toward the men’s bathroom.

She took a deep breath before stomping on his foot, jamming her elbow back - connecting with his nose, then spinning around once he let her go and jamming her knee once into his stomach then again into his groin. As he fell to his knees she took off, running back to her team and barely holding it together. 

“What happened?” Petro asked, getting everyone’s attention.

Jaden just shook her head, trying to hold in her tears, and choked out, “I just wanna go back to the hotel.”

“I go with.” Vladi stood up.

“I will, too.” Petro joined them, ordering an Uber.

“You might need to give PR a heads up about something,” Jaden’s voice was soft as they waited outside, “I kind of beat up a guy. He grabbed me and started pulling me…”

“I’ll let them know.” Petro pulled out his phone, texting Chris, Army, and Coach. Looking over at her, he let the worry show as he asked if she was okay.

“I mean, it’s not the first time some guy has tried to…. But it was the first time I really thought… I was so scared.”

“We’ve got you.” Petro pulled her against him, “Never going to let anything happen to you.”

Jaden just tucked herself against her Captain and then let Vladi usher her into the car.

The next morning, Jaden woke up tucked next to Vladi - just as she always did after bad nights - and got dressed for team breakfast.

When they got downstairs, Coach told her that she broke the guy’s nose and big toe and cracked a rib but the man agreed not to press charges when confronted with the fact that he had tried to sexually assault a professional hockey player. However, the news of the incident had gotten out.

Seggs had sent the guy’s photo to the Hockey Gals chat, telling Jaden what a great job she did and it had shocked the first laugh out of her since the incident.

At the post-practice media scrum, she got a couple questions about what happened. 

“What made you think you could take a man in a fight?” one of the reporters asked. Jaden didn’t recognize him so he must have been a Dallas reporter, “You’re not exactly intimidating.”

“I can hold my own on the ice against guys bigger than him,” Jaden replied, “I’m small but scrappy.”

And she knew the guys heard her last comment because Petro and Borts both started laughing.

6\. ‘Cause I’ll breathe, when they try to suffocate me. Don’t you underestimate me. ‘Cause I know that I won’t go speechless. All I know is I won’t go speechless. Speechless.

Robbi had been told since she was sixteen years old that the Mentions were a bad place to go. Mitchie - as her Captain and the only other girl on the Knights - had stressed that to her. And Robbi did a good job avoiding them in Juniors. But then she got called up to the NHL and stayed. And this time it was Jaden telling her to avoid them - she had made all of her social medias private because they had gotten so bad.

But right now Robbi was curled up in bed, having a hard time sleeping, and scrolling through Instagram when Matthew tagged her in a photo. It was a cute - taken that Summer when she had gone with him and his family to the Lake of the Ozarks before Camp. They were curled up next to each other in front of the fire - Matthew still in his swim trunks and Robbi in a pair of Matthew’s basketball shorts and her bikini top. Matthew had his arm flung around her and she was tucked under it, head on his shoulder. Taryn had taken it and Brady had gagged joking as his sister and mother both mentioned what a cute couple they were. He had captioned it “Missing my girl tonight”.

Robbi liked the photo and commented “Miss you, too, Matty <3” before one of the comments caught her eye, and then more did.

“He could do better.”

“What does he even see in her?”

“I bet he cheats on her.”

“Her whole team is fucking her anyway.”

“She was more attractive when she was younger.”

“Bet he and Brady share her.”

“She’s getting fat.”

“What’s wrong with her teeth?”

She went through his Insta and saw more comments along those lines on all the other photos, going back to their London days. She found them on her own photos as well. How had neither of them noticed?

And before Robbi knew what was happening, she was opening Twitter and going to her mentions. And they were somehow so much worse.

“What I wouldn’t give for the chance to fuck @RThomas_27”

“I wonder is @RThomas_27 is as good with her mouth as she is with the puck.”

“What else are @RThomas-27’s hands good at?”

And then they got more graphic, more gross, people spectating about whether Matthew would share her or not, who on the team she was fucking, who on Matthew’s team he would let take her for the night, a link to a Reddit thread.

And when she clicked on that, it was more of the same and when she saw when the first post was created, her heart stopped for a minute and she felt cold all over. It was created when she was still on the Knights, her first year on the Knights. When she was sixteen years old. 

She stumbled to the bathroom and threw up, sitting there in the dark bathroom, taking shallow breaths as she tried to keep from crying, while resting her head against the toilet. She didn’t even look up when Chantal flipped the light on.

“Robbi?” Chantal asked, kneeling down next to her touching her forehead lightly, “Are you okay? I heard you throw up.”

“I’m fine.” Robbi croaked out, managing to stand up, flushing the toilet and grabbing her toothbrush, hoping Mama Chanty would buy it.

She obviously didn’t. She sat on the edge of the bed when Robbi got situated again.

“I have a teenage daughter.” Chantal gently reminded her, grabbing a hair tie off the nightstand and pulling Robbi’s long, wild hair into a braid, “I know what it looks like when ‘I’m fine’ really means ‘something’s wrong’.”

“I say some comments on a picture Matty posted of us. Then I saw some comments on other photos of us or just me, on both of our Instas, and then I checked my mentions on Twitter and I fell down the rabbit hole.” Robbi replied, looking down at her hands, eyes shining with tears she was fighting not to let fall.

Chantal didn’t tell her she shouldn’t have done that, just pulled her in and hugged her tightly - just like she would with Taryn - and let her cry.

“You, Robbi Thomas, are beautiful.” she whispered, “And those lonely men and jealous girls on the internet don’t know what they’re talking about. And, if you don’t believe me, you can call Matthew right now and he’ll tell you the same thing. There will always be people trying to tear you down. All you have to do is prove them wrong.”

Chantal stood up and kissed her forehead, “Now, call Matthew but don’t stay up too late. You have skate tomorrow morning.”

“Night, Mama Chanty.” Robby muttered, wiping the last of her tears, “And thank you.”

“You’ve been my second daughter for four years now, darling, you don’t have to thank me.”

Robbi smiled and Chantal said another good night before leaving the room, shutting the door and then heading back upstairs.

“She getting sick?” Keith asked from his chair.

“Is there anyone, a Social Media intern, whoever, in the Office that can go through her mentions and start blocking people?” Chantal asked as she retook her previous seat.

“Probably,” Walt responded, “Why?”

“Because being a teenage girl playing in the NHL is hard enough on her, she doesn’t need to see a certain brand of comment on top of that.”

“I’ll look into it.” Walt replied, “She okay now?”

“I think she will be. She’s calling Matthew right now and I’m sure she’s going to have a long talk tomorrow with Jaden.”

Keith nodded, pulling his phone out and texting Al about who he could talk to about Robbi’s mentions.


End file.
